Why I'm taking a social media break

For the past few years, I've spent January sober, taking the time to detox from holiday drinking and reset for the coming new year. During Dry January, I discovered more energy. I slept better, and I felt less stressed. This year, I thought, why not apply this same method to my digital life. In August, I intend to stay off social media. My goal is to do less scrolling and more scribbling.

During the pandemic, I've found myself spending more time on social media and news sites than ever before. In the early days, I convinced myself I had corona after experiencing shortness of breath, thanks to a COVID-induced anxiety attack. Lately, I've found myself in an all-too comfortable evening ritual. Every night ends the same way the day began, with an endless scroll through social media, desperately seeking clarity and understanding as the world collapses into crisis. Yes, the doom scroll is real.

To be clear, I don't plan on giving up social media entirely. Social media has affected my life in many positive ways. In fact, social media has helped me and countless others stay connected during the lockdown. It's also served as a tool to share resources amid the ongoing Black Lives Matter movement. Yet, for me, as I grasp for a coping mechanism for being sequestered in my home, social media feels more like a compulsion than a tool for connection. It's become a distraction from the real work I should be doing – caring for myself, looking after the people closest to me, active learning, and unlearning.

To start, I plan to delete social media apps from my phone. For now, it's goodbye, Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and Reddit. I'll replace screen time with more reading. I also intend to use this time for other creative projects – sewing, tinkering in my garden, testing new recipes, writing, drawing, and going for walks. If I'm feeling wild, who knows, I may start running again. For the moments I reach for my phone, I aim to grab my journal (or my notes app) instead. I plan to reflect on what's going on in that specific moment and understand why I use social media. I hope to return with a detailed reflection on lessons learned and a new perspective.

If you're craving some space, why not spend a little time away?

Behind the square boxes of perfection

I have 513 friends. I regularly share personal moments and epistolary updates with all of them. But how well do they know me? Just because we are Facebook friends, does that mean we really know each other? Are they even listening?

We are all guilty of social media manipulation. Snap a photo on a bright, sunny day, at a fun, interesting event. Throw in an exciting, exaggerated caption. Maybe add a filter and post it on Instagram and Facebook. It’s a square box of perfection. Right?

On the flip side, during a particular low moment, we tap open Facebook or Instagram and scroll through our friends’ feeds. Parties on the opposite coast. Adorable babies hamming it up. Over-the-top vacation get aways. And those damn, cute couples devouring up your feed.

We use social media to share the “best” version of ourselves. But a perfected perception doesn’t always equal reality. What you don’t see are the tears we shed. The bad decisions we make. The unbelievable mess in our living room. Real life isn’t always perfect square photos. It’s lived and messy. It’s beautifully chaotic.

Here’s a little peek into the reality behind my square paragons:

Looks like I'm just taking in the intricate ceiling of 30th Street Station after a great night in Philadelphia, right? Well, not quite. Mike and I spent a beautiful day in Philadelphia with our friends. As the night came to a close, we rushed to catch our train back to Lancaster. And we missed it by five minutes. Just five minutes. I spent the minutes after calming down Mike, and figuring out an alternate plan. My little brother came to our rescue, and we saved us. But those frazzled moments in between were less than perfect.

My family and I had a fun night out celebrating my brother Dan's 21st birthday, but getting there was a bit chaotic. As the host, my tiny apartment served as the hub for evening. Packing nine people in my living space meant cleaning and baking and rearranging and preparing. I was so distracted that whole day, I nearly forgot about an important work task.

Knubbs is unbelievably cute. There is no denying that. But the story behind the photo is a little less cute. My boyfriend works every weekend, and when his grandfather goes away, Knubbs is all alone. So, the two of us hung out one night. Since my boyfriend and Knubbs usually sleep together in his bed, I felt bad and tried to do the same. He refused to sit still ALL night. After enduring his fidget fit, I finally had enough and in his crate he went. Guess how much I slept that night?

Don’t let social media veil your perception of reality. No one is perfect. We are human. And being human means accepting the roller coaster of emotions - both the sunshine and the storm clouds.

Should you be Facebook friends with your clients?

While it may seem silly to some, I briefly struggled with deciding to become Facebook friends with one of my clients. What if I said something wrong? What if a friend posted an unflattering photo of me? How comfortable would I be if he saw all the photos I share of my family members?

For years, my generation, the Millennials, was told to be cautious of oversharing on the internet. We've grown up in a world where every accident and every rash tweet is indexed and archived away. Who could blame me for being wary?

Whether you think you should become Facebook friends with your clients or not, I'm very happy with my decision. During my client's quarterly trips to the states, we crammed in as many stories about jazz, travel and, of course, craft beer as we could. In between, we'd get to know each other better over a course of Facebook comments, likes and messages. He'd share his magnificent travel photos with family, and I'd share some of my writing. I remember he sent a personal message on Facebook about how much he enjoyed reading my personal blog. He told me he spent hours reading it. Hours. I was taken aback. He was a busy guy. Always on the road, traveling somewhere new. I was touched he would take hours out of his day to read something I wrote.

His words stay with me, particularly after I learned of his recent passing. He made me realize all your passions - be it photography, travel, writing, yoga, cycling, horseback riding, technology. These passions are your +1. They give you your creative edge. These things you love so much make you better - in your career and as an individual.

How can you separate your personal life from your professional life when they are intertwined? You shouldn't shut off who you are when you go into work or when you leave. Unless, maybe, your name is Norman Bates. Why strip away your personality, when it is the very thing that makes you interesting and dynamic?

As the Millennials advance in their careers and move into positions of power, I imagine the attitude of what "professionalism" means will change. Shouldn't you present yourself, both online and in real life, as the most honest, true version of yourself? If you do this, becoming Facebook friends with a client wouldn't be nearly as big of a deal.

What do you think? Are you friends with clients or colleagues on Facebook? What about Twitter?